My best friend died three weeks ago.
She left two kids behind.
All I can think about is - how am I going to manage without her in my life?
She was the one to listen to my moanings about how I'm not good enough and scoff at me for being so idiotic not to recognize my worth. She was the one who helped me survive after my break-up. Literally.
In some respects this is even worse than my world collapsing after my break-up, because then I kept fooling myself with false hopes of getting back together, I refused to accept the finality. Now there's no question of things reverting back to what they used to be. She's gone.
How can the sun go on shining? She's dead, the world doesn't make sense anymore.
She was the only one to take the trouble to look into me and find something worth being friends for. For everyone else I'm strange. I'm socially inept, small talk comes hard for me, I never know the rules of the game, no matter what game is currently being played.
AGAIN it comes out like it's all about me when it's she who has died. Well, it IS about me, from my point of view. How will I go on without my best friend?